The Currency of Heaven

Well, if you've read any of the content on this blog up to this point than you've realized that I grossly overuse rhetorical questions. Nevertheless, I will still start of with yet another, mainly because this is how my brain works: I come up with an ethical or philosophical question that I would like to tackle and then do my best to try to. So, here's another!

For this entry the question is: what if we were all paid what we were really worth?

If you're anything like me than the first thing that comes to mind after hearing this question are thoughts of how we really aren't paid what we're worth individually or societally, as far as monetary value goes. There are many people who are completely overqualified for the kind of work that they're doing, and yet there are many others who are given a salary that greatly exceeds the physical or mental labor that is required of them.

However, I'm not talking about our "monetary" worth per say. I'm talking about the worth of our integrity, and, at the risk of sounding corny, the worth of our hearts. Our actual individual worth for the future well-being of society. There would be some way to pay everyone based on how generous they were, and no one could fake it. There would be some sure-fire way to tell what the true intentions of each heart was.

I've often time thought this because of this thought that has most likely crossed many of your minds as well: if I had the kind of money that that guy has, I would do so many better things with it!

But is that really true? I guess none of us could really know until we were actually put into that situation. I'd like to think that it is, but until that time comes, or even if it never does, I think that the best course of action is to keep a firm resolve to do the best thing possible to help others with whatever resources you've been given. So, thats what I'm going to do!

Just One Person

What if we were all just one person? No, I don't mean what if we were all exactly the same as one another, not possessing individual identities. How boring would that be? I mean what if we were the same person at the store as we were in our homes? The same person at school and at work? The same person at church on Sunday as we were at a party on a Friday night?

This is a topic that has come to mind frequently for me lately in this wonderful summertime when I've had the chance to take some quiet moments to do some self-evaluation. The other day I told a friend and mentor of mine while I was at a play rehearsal that I was sorry that if I was acting less than professional in her presence. She told me that it was no problem at all and that if I was comfortable enough to be the same person around her that I was all of the time than she felt like that was just right. Than she said something that I'd heard before but never really thought deeply about: "Isn't it remarkable that we sometimes hold things inside to some and then end up unleashing those negativity's on the ones that we care about the most, our families and closest friends? The ones that we love the most are sometimes the only ones who get to see the worst and the best in us." I instantly thought "this goes right along with my goal to live a transparent life."

Than a teacher of mine mentioned in a lecture the Greek meaning of the word hypocrite as we briefly touched on a historical figure who had been less than truthful in their dealings. So I looked it up and he was right:

hyp·o·crite

  [hip-uh-krit]

Origin: 1175 Greek hypokritḗs a stage actor,hence one who pretends to be what he is not.

noun

1.

a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2.

a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose 

private life,opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

The fear that comes along with becoming just one person is that there is a darker side to each of us that we don't want to reveal to the world.

But what if that "darker side" was really just our misunderstood side, our misinformed side? Or what if hiding that part of us only made things worse, like an old moldy dish in the refrigerator that we just stuff further back on the shelf and tolerate the smell of instead of actually taking the time to clean up and throw out?

If we could truly learn to be the same person in all situations, we would never have to be afraid of anyone else taking our phones or computers away from us and looking at where we've been and who we've spoken to?

Last year I wrote a "personal creed" about how I was going to strive for happiness, and this was bullet point number 4:

I won't write, text, type, say, do, or think anything that I wouldn't want everyone to know about.

Is that hefty order? Absolutely! But its helped me to hold myself to a higher level of accountability. Have I been perfect? No way! But that doesn't stop me from trying. Let me know what you think.

Tank Man

June 5, 1989, 25 years ago this week, an iconic event occurred. This was the day after Chinese troops had stormed through Beijing and into Tiananmen Square to thwart a political uprising that had been fueled by students. Perhaps you've seen the image: a line of tanks proceed down the street when suddenly, during this demonstration of power and authority, a man in a white shirt, carrying what appeared to be two grocery bags, stepped in front of the foremost tank. 

Julie Makinen of the LA Times recalls:

"The lead vehicle halted. It moved right and left to avoid the defenseless man. Each time, he adjusted his position to remain in the tank’s path. Finally, he shifted the bags to one hand, jumped onto the tank and appeared to talk to its driver. The standoff, just east of the square, was captured by newspaper photographers and TV news crews. The standoff lasted but a few minutes, but was so tense with drama that witnesses recall it feeling like an eternity... To this day, no one knows for sure the man’s name, or whether he’s dead or alive. Still, Time magazine named the man one of the century's top 20 revolutionaries, whose 'moment of self-transcendence [was seen] by more people than ever laid eyes on Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein and James Joyce combined.'"

Tank Man has become an icon of being true to ourselves and standing up for what we believe in; standing against oppression and standing up for the truth.

A few weeks ago, I posted the story of the "Lie Log" assignment that I was given in school and how keeping the log made me question what true honesty really is. Some who read the article told me that they felt like the ideas presented in it flowed together well and that it was thought provoking, but apparently that flow was brought to a screeching halt when I quoted Gordon Hinckley, who suggested that the virtue of honesty falls under an umbrella of absolute truth. I'm familiar with the idea of religion being a conversation stopper; who wants to argue with someone who says that the reason why they believe that something is right or truth is just because deity told them so? Is there such a thing as absolute truth, some kind of standard of morality all should adhere to?

I spent two years as a missionary in Alaska and the Yukon Territory and during that time we would frequently go door to door searching for those who would be receptive to our message. Yes, I was one of those guys who wore a white shirt, tie, and name tag, knocked on your door and asked if you'd like to hear a message about Christ. Occasionally we would get a response that went something like this: "I'm sure that that works for you and I'm happy that you've found what makes you happy, but its just not for me." It really made me think, is truth truly relative?

I'll leave that up for you to decide, but I will say this: the only reason why governments are able to promote and maintain any kind of order and peace is because of an agreement amongst the people of values that they would like to uphold together. Aren't there some truths that we all can agree on and stand up for?

Catherine Henriette / AFP/Getty Images

Pro-democracy student protesters face off with security forces in Tiananmen Square.

CAPTIONTiananmen Square remembered | April 25, 1989

Catherine Henriette / AFP/Getty Images

In a dorm room at Beijing Teachers College, a classmate listens as Wuer Kaixi, left, one of the student leaders of the pro-democracy movement, speaks his mind. "China still needs Deng Xiaoping but Premier Li Peng should resign," he said.

CAPTIONTiananmen Square remembered | April 27, 1989

Catherine Henriette / AFP/Getty Images

Student-led demonstrators squeeze a line of security forces in Tiananmen Square.

CAPTIONTiananmen Square remembered | April 29, 1989

Thomas Cheng / AFP/Getty Images

Leaders at the headquarters of the All-China Students Federation in Beijing ask the government to speed up democratization.

An Easy Assignment (or so I thought...)

This will be easy, I thought.

I was sitting in a class on interpersonal communication and the professor had just given us the assignment to keep track of all of the lies that we would tell over the next week in a "Lie Log" as a kind of experiment to show us each how dishonest we really were. I chuckled to myself and thought this won't be a problem at all. I pride myself in being an extremely honest person, even brutally honest at times. In the past I've even had people tell me that I had been too honest and that I needed to learn to keep some thoughts to myself. 

Then the professor made an especially challenging comment: "...and if any of you just tell me that you didn't lie this week...well, then I'll know that you're lying!" He laughed at his own joke and dismissed the class. 

Suddenly my emotions changed. Instead of the feeling of pride in myself and my ability to always be truthful, I was worried about how many lies I might tell in the upcoming week. Obviously he must have never had a completely honest student before in his 30+ years of teaching or he wouldn't have said that last comment, I thought. Maybe he's just always psyched out his students and subconsciously pushed them into fabricating lies to report on. Well, that would be ironic...

As I went about living my life for the week that followed, the outcome of the experiment was most certainly skewed because of my own heightened awareness of always trying to be honest, but I was nevertheless quite surprised at the results. 

My first realization was at work. I discovered that every time someone asked me how I was doing, I said "I'm doing good! You?" with a smile regardless of how I was truly feeling. Everyone does this, it would be silly to think that the question of "how are you doing" extends beyond a greeting that can be used synonymously with the word "hello," but beyond the untruths I exchanged in simple formalities, this was a big deal to me. 

I was not the transparent person that I thought I was. I began to reflect on this and I was surprised at the kind of lies that I had been habitually creating, and some that I'd been carrying with me for a while. Did I ever stretch the truth to make my life sound more glamorous or prestigious than it really was? Didn't I have some things to clear up with a particular friend? Didn't I have some relationships that I'd been holding onto that weren't healthy or that I knew weren't going anywhere? Hadn't I been parking at my apartment complex without paying? Was I completely honest with that girl when I told her why I couldn't go on that date or to my friends when they asked what my plans were that evening?

I suddenly became very interested in what it truly meant to be honest and the effects of both honesty and dishonesty on society. Having been raised in a Christian home, honesty was always made paramount in the pantheon of virtues; my parents expected it, and I expected it in return from them. So, I Googled quotes and articles about honesty and thought of questions like "When would it be acceptable to lie? If someone asked you a personal question that you didn't want to answer? If the reputation of a friend were at stake? If I were housing a Jew in my home and the Nazi's knocked on my door???" and I discovered something. These were important ethical questions and dilemmas to be sure, but one can't always dwell on "what-if" scenarios. Shouldn't there be a way to eliminate these grey areas with a definitive boundary, and yet not allow myself to become as militant as Spock in my sense of duty to virtue alone? 

The best quote that I could find on the subject was from a wise man named Gordon Hinckley who simply stated that "Some may regard the quality of character known as honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it to be the very essence of [our progression]. Without honesty, our lives and the fabric of our society will disintegrate into ugliness and chaos."

Then I thought of something even more important: Am I honest with myself?

Many times in my adult life I've given my dad an update about how things are going and what my future goals and plans are. On one such occasion, I told him that I was confused that I felt unhappy even though I was trying to be completely honest with everyone around me, living as an open book. He responded with a question that has stuck with me forever: "yes, but are you being completely honest with yourself?" I immediately became defensive and told him that of course I was! I was practically transparent! 

Then I got to thinking about it: didn't I say negative things about myself in my head and to others frequently? Didn't I procrastinate and put off the most important things and not always use my time as productively as possible? Didn't I frequently tell myself that I was entitled to and deserved just one more unhealthy item of food, spending more money on just one more thing that I really didn't need, just one more hour of Netflix on the couch, just one more late night or just one more day of sleeping in? 

I realized that I was afraid of alone time. I wasn't comfortable with myself. I was so afraid of what others thought of me and trying to maintain a reputation, an outward appearance, that I didn't even give myself enough time to focus on whether I was truly happy with myself.

I came to the understanding that even more important than honesty to others is honesty to oneself, and that if you do the latter than the former will follow. I don't think that my professor knew what he was starting, but over the past few months I've committed myself to living a life of complete honesty where I find confidence in myself, with others, and with God, or whatever higher power you may ascribe to. 

Now forgive me as this turns a bit sentimental, but think to yourself what the world would be like if everyone was completely honest with others and themselves? Obviously the only person that we each have control over in this pursuit is ourselves, but that's exactly what I'm proposing and committing myself to. The documentation of this journey will be recorded here, and maybe some of you will feel so inclined to join me and tell me of your own experiences in living a life of transparency.